...And Down Goes Frazier!

(Written on Monday.  Sorry for the delay!)

It is seriously 90 degrees out today and yes, it's only April. Poor Mother Nature is either entirely confused or really pissed off. However, that dosen't mean I'm upset my this confusion or madness - actually I'm quite alright with it - it has made working outdoors stripping RHN of her moomoo simply enjoyable. So, what did Ed and I accomplish this weekend? Well, we have a nekkid deck. Yup, she's bare bones and waiting for her partial makeover to be completed.

Let's revisit what the sad, sad wobbly looking deck used to look like. This lil lady of a deck didn't want to give up the boards, railings, nuts, bolts, and rotted nails easily, that's for sure. But being how carefully we planned this project, we decided that going all willy-nilly would cost us a lot of money that we didn't necessarily have to spend. C'mon! You know how we operate here at RHN: savings are king!

 

So, how did we git er' done? Two words: Power Tools. Ok, maybe two more words: Brute Force. This deck didn't give up the boards, railings, nuts, bolts, and rotted nails easily, that's for sure. We started to try and take the bolts that held the railing on off with a socket wrench and an adjustable wrench. Yea, no bueno friends. Those suckers stripped like nobody's bidness...plus Ed wrecked his pinky knuckle and we had a bleeder! It's never a legit project at RHN if someone doesn't walk away bleeding. 

After the knuckle wrecking we decided to bring in the big guns - power tools. We invited Sawzall, Circular Saw, Mr. & Mrs. Crowbar, Big F'n Hammer (BFH), Splitting Maul, and Sledge to join our party. They all gladfully oblidged and yes, we utilized every single one of those honorees. After Ed's blood letting, we decided to try using the sawzall to chop off the railings. No go, Joe. That's when we broke out the serious and decided to cut off the railings using the circular saw. Don't worry, sawzall wasn't totaly left out. We had ackowledged that the boards on this girl are of the kind that no longer are readily available for purchase - they're even Steven 20 footers. Since we want to keep the length of the deck the same, we had to figure out how to save as many boards as possible (plus at $24 a pop, repurchasing all these puppies would cost a small fortune and I've run out of kids to sell). So, what is a Brandt to do? Well you all know we are geniuses budget aware and promptly came up with a solution. Re-use the old boards. I can see multiple question marks above your heads and your eyes staring at me as if to say 'How? You crazy lady? Those boards are crap!' Ahhh...but wait! The underside of the decking is in fabulous condition and all it needs is a good sanding and sealing. Savings = $$$. Genius I tell you. Look!

Ok, back to wreckin' shit. In order to save the 20 foot facia board on the front of this girl, we had to use the sawzall to cut the bolts off. Once those were off, we took the board off set it aside and began prying the top boards off with a crowbar. The stair stringers are another item we will be salvaging along with the floor boards. In order to get the stairs off it took Ed a lot of prying, cutting, grunting, cursing, and beating, but they're off in one piece! We will be replacing the railings, moving the stairs, adding detail, re-securing (supa dupa style) all of the wobbly parts, and extending the overall size. Hopefully once we get the wheels in motion we can realitivly quickly put this lil lady back together - we all miss the deck a whole lot, especially Stella.

Ouch.

The backyard is clean and we are sore. The sheer amount of work we completed in one 10 hour period could have killed a horse. Ed, Cman and I all took to cleaning up, moving, taking down, raking, splitting, and burning the junk remnants that once filled the backyard. 

So, what did we do exactly that took 10 hours? The posts with electric that were installed (poorly I may add, but really? it's RHN. What would be right?) for the pool that was once existent, took down the plastic lattice from under the deck, cleaned up and burned a whole lot of rotted wood and tree limbs, raked about 3-5 years of leaves left for the next sucker, took out the blue stone stepping stones, took out the bazillion and one rocks from previous 'rock gardens', finished cutting up the giant fallen tree, mowed the front lawn, raked the side path, and last but not least raveled in the beauty of an actual back yard while drinking a Brooklyn Ale. Like a fantastic (not so much) blogger that I am, I forgot to take 'during' pictures, but seriously, it was all chaos - like a bomb went off; we even had a fire going to give it all a life like war zone feel. 

BEFORE

AFTER

Next on our list we aren't sure if we are going to begin the re-decking process or rent a mini-excavator and stump grinder to grade and level out (and bury that unwanted 3/4 stone gravel) the yard. We HAVE to get rid of the railroad ties and that will be a challenge. We have, however, come up with a plan of sorts of what we want to do in the yard. In the back right corner we are going to build a fire pit area much like this: 

pinterest.com

Isn't it beyond fabulous?! Yes, we are thinking of planting tall-ish bamboo along the back fence for pretty much two reasons: 1) to hide the 'dumping grounds' that have become the back woods 2) Privacy from the Toll Brothers community of McMansions they're building behind us.  

The deck we are hoping to look something like so:

CAD on Lowes.com

We would eventually like to have a fully as-level-as-a-slightly-sloping-yard-can-be level yard with lush green grass - NOT dirt, 3/4 stone and sand!, a nice stepping stone pathway from the side to back yard, a re-decked deck, a re-roofed and painted/fixed up good as new shed and trimmed back trees (ours and the encroaching neighbors) and the trash heap has spoken old fire pit needs to say hasta la bye-bye.

The front of the hizzy is looking like she got a face lift as well:

We have plans for the front, too. Trees and bushes are coming down, bare patches grassied up, gardens mulched... It needs an update bad and we know it. We have our sites set on about 1-2 years on new front steps and walkway, and 3-5 years out on new siding and a roof, but for now we need it to not be a friggin' eye sore. I have to say though that it is quite rewarding to see progress after the soreness my body is feeling. Getting old sucks. No longer can we pull the all-nighters and all day hard labor without feeling major consequence. Ah well, we will be back once we decide what we want to conquer next.

C'Mon 'N Get Your Rake On.

We worked our booties off this past weekend. Seriously. Through the cold, wet, ickyness that Mother Nature bestowed upon us, we cleaned up the front yard quite nicely by raking, weeding, clearing, moving, chopping and cleaning this not so giant space. For years this house has been slightly ignored in terms of appearance. Even though the trees are overgrown, the bushes half bare, the years of leaves thatched into the ground, hidden garbage strewn about, and items left behind to rot, we know that RHN has curb appeal and a sexy side just waiting to gleam to every passerby. This medium sized lady wants to strut her goods!

Let us visit the ugly ducking from the front this time.

 

So, what you are looking at is chaos and it's not very becoming on a lovely lady such as RHN. The row of bushes in the front are heavy, some sparse, and boring. Think a moo-moo on a svelte model. Then there's this front and center mess with rocks, daffodils, two rose of sharon, some crazy vine, and two rotting stumps. Yes, the non-fashionistas who once inhabited RHN before put a moo-moo on RHN and then added crazy make-up and more spray-tan and cover-up than one could shake a stick at to 'hide' the rotting stumps. Really? Why not just rock the natural skin tone and go to the dermatologist? Why are we rocking the Jersey Shore look? Here's a better idea: get a damn stump grinder and take out those stumps. Genius I tell you. Genius. Anyway, moving on. The 'rock garden' makes no sense. I cleaned it up, but still look at it going 'huh?'. The Japanese Maple that's located in said garden is huge. It also had Christmas lights wrapped around the bottom of it and on one of the branches. The lights have been there so long that the tree actually grew around the lights - almost like it ate them for a snack. This tree, when fully leaved, smacks everyone walking up the walkway in the face no matter how far we seem to trim it back. Ed is thinking it may be time to bid this tree farewell. I wish we could transplant it, but it may be just too big.

While I was up front workin' away, Ed was partying in the back with a chainsaw. Ha! We sound like a mullet! Bidness up front, parrr-taaay in the back! The reason I said Ed was partying in the back was because he was wreckin' shit and playing with power tools. Case and point:

 

This may sound gross to all Ed's family members (and hell, probably some friends), but 'hubba-hubba!' Heehee. What?! C'mon ladies, don't you tell me there isn't something even remotely attractive about a man (especially your own) using power tools. Anywhoosle, Ed cut up and partly split the old fallen down tree in the backyard. We are planning on having the chimney cleaned soon so we can use that awesome fireplace in the winter (help supplement the oil cost a little). 

While the parr-taaay was happening in the back, the bidness up front was digging up random items in the front. 

 That's a squirrel sprinkler who is missing an ear and a high game bowling trophy of sorts. This seems par for the course for RHN. I also took out that chaotic mess that was obstructing the middle of the lawn. This hot mess still needs a stump grinder, but it looks better already - well, as good as a circle of dirt can look I guess. 

We also bought a grill, yo! No, no, not the gold dental kind, the gas kind you cook on. Ed and Ihit up quite a few different brands and stores, but this Brinkmann from Home Depot (obviously our break-up didn't last long) won out over the others because of looks, size, value, and of course price. We have used it a few times and LOVE it. There's just something about grilling we love. Ahhh, the sweet smell of spring/summer is here. 

This weekend coming is supposed to be gorgeous and around 65, so you know we will be working our tukases off finishing up the front (which we didn't because of the rain) and really hitting the back yard with a vengeance. Hell, we may even begin buying deck supplies to start re-decking that awful looking wobbly deck.

Could Someone Please Get Us On A Makeover Show?!

RHN hasn't really had any significant news/renovations to allow me to write an entire post. However, that doesn't mean we have been a pile of lazy bones round these parts, ya'll. Ha! For someone that says 'dawg', 'waw-der' and 'cawfee', hearing 'ya'll' come out of my mouth is kinda funny. Anyway, back at the ranch...

Let's discuss the plan Ed and I have been mulling over for the past few weeks. This said plan is mainly focused around the back yard and its components. The main components in which I speak mainly consist of the yard itself, the shed, and the big ol' deckerooni. The back yard is a hot friggin' mess with a capital HOT. Between the railroad ties laying about (almost randomly), the fallen tree, the sand/gravel left from where the pool used to be, the left over electric boxes from the early days when there used to be a pool, the slightly wobbly deck, the shed that has a moss roof and exhausted paint, and the spotty patches of grass (real and onion) underneath the 7 inches of leaves, it needs help. BAD. Actually it needs 911, CPR, a defibrillator and a hot EMT yelling 'clear'! Look, I will show you that I'm not over exaggerating.

So, first on the list is raking/blowing allllllll those leaves up and chopping up that big ol' mess of a tree that took out the (what we think was a pool) pool. Then we begin taking the deck apart. Yes, I said taking the deck apart. I know it sounds like a huge ass undertaking, but the deck is a little shakey, a little tired, a little rotted, and a lot ugly. We will relocate the stairway to the front side of the deck, put up proper railings and decorate that sucker with some fabulous outdoor lighting and a grill.

Move the steps to the front right corner.

Sad, sad, tired wood.

The back yard, *le sigh*...oh the back yard. I think what's killing us about the back yard is this: it's an amazing space with amazing potential, but the neglect and years of just shit in the yard is so friggin overwhelming. Seriously, from the picture it probably looks like any other ignored piece of land, but our had railroad ties, a landing pad of sand and 3/4 stone, a dead tree and a helpless looking shed, and about four, yes FOUR, years of leaves built up on it (who knows, maybe more). We have spoke about what we need/want in the back yard to make it functional for more than just Mama. We want a somewhat leveler yard, a fire pit, room to put up a volleyball/badminton/darts space.

As for the adorbs lil lady in the back corner: we want to re-shingle the roof of the shed, possible install new windows that would keep the elements out, re-stain that sucker, build/get a new ramp and take out the rotting railroad ties and planting table. I would also like to make a landscaped bed of bushes around the outside. You know, drip her in Cartier boxwood bushes and Tiffany's daffodils.

She so needs a make over. The entire outside needs a makeover. It's so sad that everything went unattended for so long. Oh well, we will fix-er-up good as new. I can't wait to wreck shit! Excited!

Well, in other news we are finally taking the long awaited trip to the USVI! Yippie! We (Ed, my brother and I) all went in on and purchased my father a ticket for his birthday so he too could join us. He's always wanted to go and really? what better an opportunity; Cman is so excited that his pop-pop is able to go too. So, that's about it around here kiddos. I will be back next week after Ed and I work our asses off.

Let There Be Light Fabulous Frumpka. Makeover Time!

I think it is time to come clean and confess what we have been up to in last two weeks. Well, let me tell you. No. Let me SHOW you. 

Yes, my darlings, what you see is not photo shopped. No sir-ree-bob. What we have here is a new lamp post and ... Frumpkas room. Yes, that picture on the right is friggin' Frumpkas room. The room that used to look like this:

But before we get to the tale of Frumpkas room, let's visit the ghetto lamp post that the tree that fell on our truck took out back in October.

Saturday we decided it was time to replace this really sorry excuse I can't believe we lived with it like this for six months lamp post.  We went to *cough* home depot *cough* and picked up a new, much brighter, beauty. Ed, Dad, and Mama easily pulled out the wrecked ghetto old post, found the footing, dug a hole, installed the post and bam!

Let there be light! 

 

Fabulous Frumpkas Room has me blown away. Seriously, it's insane that the crazy-ass green and fuchsia enamel walls, destroyed hardwood floor, half-ass ceiling fan, punched in light switches and outlets, bowed out, cracked, and dirty head cheese walls could actually turn into such a beautiful swan. And to you my dear peeps, I present beautiful Frumpka. 

Ok, the deets: The rug, light fixture, outlets, sofa wall, under the window wall, full size sleeper sofa and pillows are all new. The rug I found at rugsusa.com on clearance for $124 free shipping. It's a 5x8 dark teal/gray and light oatmeal zebra (obviously). This rug was about $600. Yeppers, go me! The full size sleeper sofa we found at Raymour and Flanigan clearance center. It was $1000, we picked 'er up after negotiations and a sale for $500. Like that? Half price. Yeeeaaa, boyyy-ee. The side table, curtains, curtain rods, lamp, and vase were all items we already owned. I just spray painted the table the same dark walnut to 'go' with the rest of the room. We primed and painted the walls with Behr primer+paint in the color named 'Polished'. Yup, we are that fancy. (due to the enamel fuchsia/green paint left behind by the crazies, we had to prime with enamel primer first then paint two coats of Behr premium over that. Oh and I'm not telling the story of how I almost broke my neck falling off the step stool or how I spilled an entire gallon of paint on the hardwood floors. twice. Nope, not happenin', but for what it's worth, I was under the weather.)

I think, however, we should visit the light fixture. I have been pining over similar ones for anywhere between $60-$180. Yea, Ouch. That's more than the rug or a third of the sleeper sofa - for a light. No can will do, good buddy. So, after a little research, we made our own. Let's take a closer look. 

Ok, it's not totally glam from underneath, but we put this baby together for $23! We are magic. This lighting site is where I was originally going to purchase a light. I have to admit their shades are sassy, but we can always switch ours out and add a diffuser if we feel the need for a lil more sass. Their lighting kit is $49. Home Depots is $14. Their shade is $89. Ours was free. The only other thing we added was that cute little medallion around the lighting hardware on the ceiling. It was $9. I spray painted the medallion on top of the hardware oil rubbed bronze and we have a winner. For $23. Take that $150 pendant light. And, Hi, it looks fantastic in the whole room. 

So, there you have it. A lamp post and a polished spare bedroom/office. We still need to add Ed's desk which will eventually look like so...

centsationalgirl.com

 ...And a door, and paint the closet, and add artwork and such, but for now it's awesome and we LOVE how it turned out. For our next project we have been talking a lot about the outside of the hizzy - back and front - and also getting that basement underway again. We need to desperately do something about the master bedroom which we will get to, too. Too many priorities. Oh well, at least we aren't bored! 

Out With The Gold (And Lavender) And In With The Blue(ish Green).

Guess what time it is?  It's basement half bath budget breakdown/look what we did time. But, before I go ahead and tell you all the secrets, I should reveal to you what we did and how we were on a strict diet with home depot. When we began the planning we viewed the entire process as this: it's a basement hangout, it doens't need to be fancy. It does, however, have to be presentable and put together. So, what does that mean to us? The people whom are on a strict home depot diet? Builders specials and sales, baby! Ed picked the color (which is Behr paint and primer in one) called Contemplation and we decided on brushed nickel for all the hardware. (Oh and P.S. this color is not blue-ish green as the title states. P.P.S. Green just doesn't fit in the good ol' saying and blue did.) 

The middle door is the bathroom.

  

Originally we decided that this cutey-patooty half bath would get a face lift involving tone-on-tone stripes in the creamy white variety. 

photo creds: younghouselove.com

 However, time wasn't on our side (read impatience) and either was our home depot diet. So, we went solid. I was very much looking forward to the stripes, but at second thought realized that this is a basement half bath - not one regularly used - therefore enjoying the stripes would be minimal due to my lack of time spent down there. Yes, I just justified laziness, impatience, and poorness (even a word?) with that sentence. And yes, I feel better about it, thanks. So, what's our solution to a stripeless hizzy? The other half bath (I know, right?! So many bathrooms!) in our master bedroom will adorn stripey's and flair. Speaking of the master bathroom we are thinking about closing off our current walk-in closet and transforming it into a shower to make the master bathroom a full one. What is a girl to do about a closet you ask?! Have no fear, theoretically speaking (wo)man is here! We will build another walk-in closet on the opposite side of the room. Oh! Such scandalous talk! Ok, ok let's get back on topic.

So, what did we do and put into this little bonus gem of a half bath? We insulated, holy sheet!rocked, painted the ceiling, installed new molding, installed a new vanity, faucet, toilet, sconce, blind, tp holder and towel ring. Phew. Let's mud roll the tape (little home renovation humor) and see where we landed. 

Break-it-down:
Holy Sheet!rock: F-R-double-E. We had it on hand.
Holy Sheet!rock mud and tape: $14
Insulation: $10
Behr Paint and Primer: $25
Other primer: $10
White paint: F-R-double-E. We had it on hand.
Brand Spankin New Paint Brush: $5
Vanity: $39
Faucet: $25
Toilet: $78
Sconce: $30
Misc: $24
Art: F-R-double-E. 

Grand total: $258.

Before and After: 

Maybe a few more before pictures. Shall we?

That bathroom was so friggin' nasty. Seriously, I couldn't go in there without fearing some giant bug was going to crawl up out of the sink or toilet and rooooaaaarrrr in my face then chomp my body in half or swallow me whole. Ok, maybe I exaggerated the medium-sized spiders that called that nasty room home, but it's a basement bathroom and it was yellow and purple. 


Now how about a few more after pictures that are far easier on the eyes:

We still need to add a mirror and a rug and I should tell you a little about those awesome pieces of photographic genius. I bought those a whole lotta (love? Letting the Led [Zeppelin] out) years ago at a craft fair. They're shot all over New York State and the photographer's name is Jack Miller out of Brooklyn. He uses reclaimed wood and faux suede matting. LOVE. Another thing I should mention is that the truer of the gree color is depicted in lower left hand picture of the quad posted. Silly lighting. 

Anywhoosle. Was it a total cheap-o reno? Nope. Was it a total splurge-o reno? Nope. This little make-over was what we call a happy medium. It added more (albeit small, but more nonetheless) equity to our growing pile we have going; it's also serves as a completely functional luxury for those lazy bums who don't want to go upstairs to see a man about a horse, aaaand it didn't cost us an arm and a leg to get er lookin' spiffy again. Win-win-win all around. So, what's next on the good ol' to do list for the basement-erooni? We will be painting the laundry room, building a pedestal for the washer/dryer, adding new lighting, and makin' er' look fancy-pants. Thhheeennnn, we will be adding carpet to the big room, getting the fireplace cleaned (just in time for spring and summer! silly us), painting, installing recessed lighting, framing in the i-beam (aka stripper pole), hopefully new windows (those suckas are drafty and busted and as old as RHN), adding some furniture, an xbox and a TV (Cmans request).

Oh! and I have to add this - Katie and Philip sent the coolest gift to us for xmas and I cannot wait to get them out and proudly displayed in the hizzy. Look! (Yeah, one got a little broken in transit, but we're fixin' that guy up good as new. No worries.)

Yea, I know! You're so jealous, I can tell. I would be too, they're freakin' sweet and from Bermuda! Ed will be building us a dining room table and we will be investing in some grown-up dining chairs and a chandelier. Those beautifully hued babies will be perched on the beautifully made table under the beautifully graceful chandelier. Excited!