...And Down Goes Frazier!

(Written on Monday.  Sorry for the delay!)

It is seriously 90 degrees out today and yes, it's only April. Poor Mother Nature is either entirely confused or really pissed off. However, that dosen't mean I'm upset my this confusion or madness - actually I'm quite alright with it - it has made working outdoors stripping RHN of her moomoo simply enjoyable. So, what did Ed and I accomplish this weekend? Well, we have a nekkid deck. Yup, she's bare bones and waiting for her partial makeover to be completed.

Let's revisit what the sad, sad wobbly looking deck used to look like. This lil lady of a deck didn't want to give up the boards, railings, nuts, bolts, and rotted nails easily, that's for sure. But being how carefully we planned this project, we decided that going all willy-nilly would cost us a lot of money that we didn't necessarily have to spend. C'mon! You know how we operate here at RHN: savings are king!

 

So, how did we git er' done? Two words: Power Tools. Ok, maybe two more words: Brute Force. This deck didn't give up the boards, railings, nuts, bolts, and rotted nails easily, that's for sure. We started to try and take the bolts that held the railing on off with a socket wrench and an adjustable wrench. Yea, no bueno friends. Those suckers stripped like nobody's bidness...plus Ed wrecked his pinky knuckle and we had a bleeder! It's never a legit project at RHN if someone doesn't walk away bleeding. 

After the knuckle wrecking we decided to bring in the big guns - power tools. We invited Sawzall, Circular Saw, Mr. & Mrs. Crowbar, Big F'n Hammer (BFH), Splitting Maul, and Sledge to join our party. They all gladfully oblidged and yes, we utilized every single one of those honorees. After Ed's blood letting, we decided to try using the sawzall to chop off the railings. No go, Joe. That's when we broke out the serious and decided to cut off the railings using the circular saw. Don't worry, sawzall wasn't totaly left out. We had ackowledged that the boards on this girl are of the kind that no longer are readily available for purchase - they're even Steven 20 footers. Since we want to keep the length of the deck the same, we had to figure out how to save as many boards as possible (plus at $24 a pop, repurchasing all these puppies would cost a small fortune and I've run out of kids to sell). So, what is a Brandt to do? Well you all know we are geniuses budget aware and promptly came up with a solution. Re-use the old boards. I can see multiple question marks above your heads and your eyes staring at me as if to say 'How? You crazy lady? Those boards are crap!' Ahhh...but wait! The underside of the decking is in fabulous condition and all it needs is a good sanding and sealing. Savings = $$$. Genius I tell you. Look!

Ok, back to wreckin' shit. In order to save the 20 foot facia board on the front of this girl, we had to use the sawzall to cut the bolts off. Once those were off, we took the board off set it aside and began prying the top boards off with a crowbar. The stair stringers are another item we will be salvaging along with the floor boards. In order to get the stairs off it took Ed a lot of prying, cutting, grunting, cursing, and beating, but they're off in one piece! We will be replacing the railings, moving the stairs, adding detail, re-securing (supa dupa style) all of the wobbly parts, and extending the overall size. Hopefully once we get the wheels in motion we can realitivly quickly put this lil lady back together - we all miss the deck a whole lot, especially Stella.

Ouch.

The backyard is clean and we are sore. The sheer amount of work we completed in one 10 hour period could have killed a horse. Ed, Cman and I all took to cleaning up, moving, taking down, raking, splitting, and burning the junk remnants that once filled the backyard. 

So, what did we do exactly that took 10 hours? The posts with electric that were installed (poorly I may add, but really? it's RHN. What would be right?) for the pool that was once existent, took down the plastic lattice from under the deck, cleaned up and burned a whole lot of rotted wood and tree limbs, raked about 3-5 years of leaves left for the next sucker, took out the blue stone stepping stones, took out the bazillion and one rocks from previous 'rock gardens', finished cutting up the giant fallen tree, mowed the front lawn, raked the side path, and last but not least raveled in the beauty of an actual back yard while drinking a Brooklyn Ale. Like a fantastic (not so much) blogger that I am, I forgot to take 'during' pictures, but seriously, it was all chaos - like a bomb went off; we even had a fire going to give it all a life like war zone feel. 

BEFORE

AFTER

Next on our list we aren't sure if we are going to begin the re-decking process or rent a mini-excavator and stump grinder to grade and level out (and bury that unwanted 3/4 stone gravel) the yard. We HAVE to get rid of the railroad ties and that will be a challenge. We have, however, come up with a plan of sorts of what we want to do in the yard. In the back right corner we are going to build a fire pit area much like this: 

pinterest.com

Isn't it beyond fabulous?! Yes, we are thinking of planting tall-ish bamboo along the back fence for pretty much two reasons: 1) to hide the 'dumping grounds' that have become the back woods 2) Privacy from the Toll Brothers community of McMansions they're building behind us.  

The deck we are hoping to look something like so:

CAD on Lowes.com

We would eventually like to have a fully as-level-as-a-slightly-sloping-yard-can-be level yard with lush green grass - NOT dirt, 3/4 stone and sand!, a nice stepping stone pathway from the side to back yard, a re-decked deck, a re-roofed and painted/fixed up good as new shed and trimmed back trees (ours and the encroaching neighbors) and the trash heap has spoken old fire pit needs to say hasta la bye-bye.

The front of the hizzy is looking like she got a face lift as well:

We have plans for the front, too. Trees and bushes are coming down, bare patches grassied up, gardens mulched... It needs an update bad and we know it. We have our sites set on about 1-2 years on new front steps and walkway, and 3-5 years out on new siding and a roof, but for now we need it to not be a friggin' eye sore. I have to say though that it is quite rewarding to see progress after the soreness my body is feeling. Getting old sucks. No longer can we pull the all-nighters and all day hard labor without feeling major consequence. Ah well, we will be back once we decide what we want to conquer next.

C'Mon 'N Get Your Rake On.

We worked our booties off this past weekend. Seriously. Through the cold, wet, ickyness that Mother Nature bestowed upon us, we cleaned up the front yard quite nicely by raking, weeding, clearing, moving, chopping and cleaning this not so giant space. For years this house has been slightly ignored in terms of appearance. Even though the trees are overgrown, the bushes half bare, the years of leaves thatched into the ground, hidden garbage strewn about, and items left behind to rot, we know that RHN has curb appeal and a sexy side just waiting to gleam to every passerby. This medium sized lady wants to strut her goods!

Let us visit the ugly ducking from the front this time.

 

So, what you are looking at is chaos and it's not very becoming on a lovely lady such as RHN. The row of bushes in the front are heavy, some sparse, and boring. Think a moo-moo on a svelte model. Then there's this front and center mess with rocks, daffodils, two rose of sharon, some crazy vine, and two rotting stumps. Yes, the non-fashionistas who once inhabited RHN before put a moo-moo on RHN and then added crazy make-up and more spray-tan and cover-up than one could shake a stick at to 'hide' the rotting stumps. Really? Why not just rock the natural skin tone and go to the dermatologist? Why are we rocking the Jersey Shore look? Here's a better idea: get a damn stump grinder and take out those stumps. Genius I tell you. Genius. Anyway, moving on. The 'rock garden' makes no sense. I cleaned it up, but still look at it going 'huh?'. The Japanese Maple that's located in said garden is huge. It also had Christmas lights wrapped around the bottom of it and on one of the branches. The lights have been there so long that the tree actually grew around the lights - almost like it ate them for a snack. This tree, when fully leaved, smacks everyone walking up the walkway in the face no matter how far we seem to trim it back. Ed is thinking it may be time to bid this tree farewell. I wish we could transplant it, but it may be just too big.

While I was up front workin' away, Ed was partying in the back with a chainsaw. Ha! We sound like a mullet! Bidness up front, parrr-taaay in the back! The reason I said Ed was partying in the back was because he was wreckin' shit and playing with power tools. Case and point:

 

This may sound gross to all Ed's family members (and hell, probably some friends), but 'hubba-hubba!' Heehee. What?! C'mon ladies, don't you tell me there isn't something even remotely attractive about a man (especially your own) using power tools. Anywhoosle, Ed cut up and partly split the old fallen down tree in the backyard. We are planning on having the chimney cleaned soon so we can use that awesome fireplace in the winter (help supplement the oil cost a little). 

While the parr-taaay was happening in the back, the bidness up front was digging up random items in the front. 

 That's a squirrel sprinkler who is missing an ear and a high game bowling trophy of sorts. This seems par for the course for RHN. I also took out that chaotic mess that was obstructing the middle of the lawn. This hot mess still needs a stump grinder, but it looks better already - well, as good as a circle of dirt can look I guess. 

We also bought a grill, yo! No, no, not the gold dental kind, the gas kind you cook on. Ed and Ihit up quite a few different brands and stores, but this Brinkmann from Home Depot (obviously our break-up didn't last long) won out over the others because of looks, size, value, and of course price. We have used it a few times and LOVE it. There's just something about grilling we love. Ahhh, the sweet smell of spring/summer is here. 

This weekend coming is supposed to be gorgeous and around 65, so you know we will be working our tukases off finishing up the front (which we didn't because of the rain) and really hitting the back yard with a vengeance. Hell, we may even begin buying deck supplies to start re-decking that awful looking wobbly deck.